The ending made everything before it fall into place. The coffee, the cigarettes, the repetition—all of it begins to feel like a carefully maintained distance from the one thing he almost allowed himself to feel. “I still remember what it felt like to almost let you in” is such a quiet, painful confession.
I had a term for myself once. A footnote or an explanation. ‘Eloquently disturbed’. An oversimplification but not an insult. You are welcome to it if you like it. I enjoy reading your journey. It feels easier to be fully one thing or the other. I often don’t answer either.
The 3am thoughts
were not new.
They were the ones
that waited all day
for the noise
to finally stop.
— AËLA
The ending made everything before it fall into place. The coffee, the cigarettes, the repetition—all of it begins to feel like a carefully maintained distance from the one thing he almost allowed himself to feel. “I still remember what it felt like to almost let you in” is such a quiet, painful confession.
I had a term for myself once. A footnote or an explanation. ‘Eloquently disturbed’. An oversimplification but not an insult. You are welcome to it if you like it. I enjoy reading your journey. It feels easier to be fully one thing or the other. I often don’t answer either.